Advice to Parents
This is advice to parents from a teacher. Full disclosure: I am not a parent myself. My experience has been mainly with teenagers. However, I have worked with far more young people than most parents have (save for my fellow educators), and I have worked with a wide variety of backgrounds and personalities since 1985. I also have experience in several different types of educational settings. I have the utmost respect for parents and, as a teacher, I consider them my #1 stakeholder. I’m not so sure all teachers feel this way. Do you know where your child’s teachers stand? What follows is some inside information that parents should know, but most don’t. Let this serve as somewhat of a wake-up call, and let it inspire you to take a greater interest in your children’s education. Parental Involvement Parental involvement is a big buzzword in education these days. I have seen few good examples of school-wide parental involvement in any of the schools I have worked in. Individual teachers and programs who do a good job of involving parents do exist, but most of the successful parental involvement I’ve seen starts with the parents. In other words, it's up to you. Go to your Parent-Teacher Conferences. Get the phone number and email address of your child’s teachers (and coaches) and use them. Talk to other parents about teachers. Talk to former students of teachers. An elementary teacher probably spends more time with your child each day than you do, so it is a good idea to get to know them. It is easy for parents to simply defer to public school teachers’ judgement, after all they’re the experts, right? Consider, that by the time your child enters kindergarten you have racked up as much child contact time as a teacher of 10 or 12 years. Much of this time you are acting as your child’s teacher. You are their first teacher, and nobody knows your individual child better than you do. If your child has special needs of any kind, follow up with their teachers and the school district. Know the law and make sure they are providing the services to which your child is entitled. Remember, it’s the squeaky wheel that gets the oil. Be the squeaky wheel. Go to school board meetings, and squeak. In many cases, sadly, if parents don’t hold teachers accountable no one will. It is important to remain your child’s first teacher. Don’t trust their entire education to the schools. Seek out enriching experiences for your kids when school is not in session. Athletics can provide valuable life lessons. If your student has a passion and/or a talent for a particular sport, encourage them. Give them the opportunity to realize their full potential. Perhaps your child is not interested in athletics, but there is bound to be something they have a talent and special interest for. It is your job to help them explore the world to find their passions. While they may give lip service to “parental involvement”, the truth is the very concept of public schooling excludes it. Philosophy of Education This is something most parents don’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about. It is important because one’s philosophy of education forms the foundation of one’s approach to education. What is the purpose of education? Who are the most important stakeholders? Is education for the good of the individual? Is education for the good of society? Does one take priority over the other? How should teachers relate to students? How should students relate to teachers? What is the best way to learn math? The answers to these questions are deeply personal and are likely rooted in a person’s value system. There are many different approaches to education, although you wouldn’t necessarily come to that conclusion by observing public schools in the U.S. Public schools are actually based on a very narrow subset of educational theories. Education theories, in turn, are based on psychological theories. The psychological theory which is most evident in public schooling is what is known as Behaviorism. This theory defines “behavior” as a response to stimuli. Only “observable” behaviors are considered with this theory. The contents of the mind, thoughts, emotion, feelings are all unobservable and therefore irrelevant according to behaviorism. All behavior is to be explained as a response to external stimuli. One of the first proponents of behaviorism was B.F. Skinner, who developed the techniques of operant conditioning. This will be familiar to many as using a system “positive reinforcement”, “negative reinforcement”, and “punishment” to shape behavior. Operant conditioning is used with great success in the training of animals such as dogs and horses. It also works very well with people. In fact, it is possible to exercise near total control of another person’s behavior using these psychological techniques (a system of rewards and punishments) in highly structured environments. But, is that what education is? According to behaviorism, yes, it is. It is " . . . an observable change in an organism’s response to a stimulus." Let’s be honest here, much of what kids are learning in public schools amounts to socialization. How to obey authority, how to be respectful, how not to use violence to get what you want, how to show up on time, how to stay on-topic, and how to ask permission to use the restroom. These are some of the behaviors which are “reinforced”, to use the terminology of operant conditioning, every day, every hour, from preschool to 12th grade and beyond. The ultimate responses the students give are their responses to questions on standardized tests (data), for which schools and teachers are judged as to their “effectiveness”. All of this is somewhat inevitable. After all this is taxpayer money we are talking about. There should be some sort of accountability. This focus on data gives us something to hold on to something to point to when promoting the latest political solution to the perennial education crisis. The behaviorist approach is perfect for providing such data. But, is this the best way to educate our children? There are several educational theories which do account for some of the less tangible aspects of the personality. In case you are not familiar with some of these ideas, a casual internet search leads you to this article: “15 Learning Theories in Education (A Complete Summary)”. Most of these approaches are not mutually exclusive. Indeed, most teachers blend together strategies from several different theories, many without even realizing it. There is a hazard in teaching, and also in parenting, of “falling back” on the same techniques and strategies that were used on us as kids, regardless of whether they actually work or not, or even if they are actually harmful. Sometimes, “that’s how my parents treated me”, or “that’s how our teachers treated us” is the only excuse offered for some truly abusive practices. The point here is to draw attention to the heavy reliance on operant conditioning in public schooling, and outside the classroom as well. This powerful tool has been studied and greatly refined beyond the field of education. Marketing, advertising, law enforcement & corrections, animal training, athletics, psychology and the military are all fields where operant conditioning is used extensively. At present no field is making more effective use of operant conditioning than technology. Technology We have reached a point now where most new parents grew up with the internet playing a huge role in their lives. With a few exceptions, Baby Boomers and Gen. Xers are the only ones left who did not have a childhood mediated by the worldwide web. We grew up in the age of television (which was bad enough, and still is). However, the internet along with all the technology we use to access it has taken things to a whole new level. Not only are parents ill-equipped to guide their children’s use of technology, but many of the older generation actually rely on the children to guide them in the use of technology. Clearly, this is an upside-down situation. This is a dangerous situation. Most parents and teachers have no idea what kids do and who they interact with on the internet. No idea whatsoever. Children under the age of 16 do not have the self-control or the critical thinking skills to safely navigate the internet unsupervised. If you give a child a smart phone with full internet access, expect them to misuse it. And, it will not be their fault when they do, it will be your fault for failing to protect them. Unfortunately, giving young children their own smart phone, with full unrestricted internet access to carry around with them 24/7, is the norm. I urge parents not to do this. Our kids are defenseless against the many sophisticated and manipulative techniques (operant conditioning) regularly employed on the internet. Some schools do a better job than others of monitoring students’ use of the internet. Also, keep in mind that by the time many kids reach high school age they have the ability to hack their way around almost any controls that are put in place. In my last few years teaching in a public school, kids with smart phones became one of my greatest challenges. I'll say it again, children under the age of 16 should not be carrying around their own smart phones. Most of them are not mature enough or savvy enough to navigate all the scams and scammers out there. Bullying is another thing which has been hugely enabled through the use of social media. It is easy to see the power technology holds over kids. Even many adults do not seem to be able to control their use of technology. This is a testament to the power of operant conditioning. We need to give kids the critical thinking tools to be smart savvy users of technology, not merely hapless victims. Motivation One truth I have learned which guides me as a teacher and in life is that education is a verb. It is something you do. An education is not something which can be given to somebody. It is something which must be worked for, something that needs to be cultivated. The first step on any learning journey is a choice on the part of the student. Until the decision to learn is made by the student the teacher is irrelevant. The motivation to learn must come from within. Look back on your own life and you will see the truth of this statement. So, if the motivation to learn must come from within, then where does the role of the teacher or parent begin? What is required to make that decision to learn? You need to be inspired. So, as teachers, parents and mentors we need to be inspiring, and we need to expose kids to inspiring people, places and stories. What you are looking for is that “wow cool!” moment. That’s when you jump in with, “that is pretty cool, how would you like to try that?” Remember, there are many sports which are not offered at most public schools. Music, art, animals, cooking, expose kids to as many unique learning opportunities as possible (carefully disguised as recreation, of course) and they are bound to find something they really like and want to learn more about. Then, support them the best you can in the pursuit of their passion. Finally, remember that you cannot be negatively reinforced, punished or rewarded into making the decision to engage in genuine learning, and neither can your kids. Do your best to inspire your kids. Make sure they see both the positive and negative consequences of their actions. Always encourage effort over outcome. It is not “did you win or lose?” but “did you do your best?”
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